Dementia is a chronic illness that not only has substantial effects on the life as well as future for the individuals diagnosed, but also affects those with whom these individuals have relationships. This has implications that need to be addressed by professional practice, not least since social work research has shown that the support available for couples managing dementia is insufficient. There are few studies today of how couples jointly talk about their future with dementia and how they adapt to it as a couple and as individuals. Therefore, this article explores how couples in which one of the spouses has a diagnosis of dementia jointly talk about an uncertain future with dementia. The study benefits from using the conversation analytic method when studying video-recorded interactions among 15 couples living with dementia. The results show that either or both spouses can actively request knowledge about the progression of dementia, but at the same time, the spouses without dementia express awareness of the uncertainty that is connected to a future with dementia. Moreover, either or both spouses may also express contentment with “not knowing.” In all examples, one or several of the participants alternate between taking epistemic stances of knowing and unknowing as well as ascribing stances to others, and spouses can display similar or oppositional stances. The findings suggest a need for developing communicative practice for couples to jointly talk about dementia, as well as a need for social workers to find ways of providing emotional support.

The aim of this article is to investigate how spouses in couples with dementia position themselves in relation to each other by analysing their use of pronouns, especially the we. The study uses joint interviews with 11 couples. Based on a quantitative analysis of pronoun use, it is argued that the pronoun we is used by all the spouses; however, it is used less frequently by the spouses with dementia in comparison with healthy spouses. A qualitative analysis of the use of the pronoun we shows that the spouses position, experience and consider themselves as a couple and that they position and experience themselves as individuals in relation to the couple. One of the challenges for couples with dementia is to be able to retain a we in face of the progression of the dementia disease. By positioning themselves in various ways, the spouses establish and negotiate quite a complex and emotionally charged web of relationships.