The aim of this study is to explore 40 Swedish 7th and 8th grade girls perspectives on bullying by listening to how they discuss and understand bullying. Pair and group interviews were conducted and analysed using grounded theory. Symbolic interactionism was used as a theoretical perspective focusing on social processes and interaction. The participants constructed bullying as an identity process involving gendered identities, victim identities and socially-valuable identities where bullying was located within a gendered order. These identities were negotiated with the concept of self-confidence, where the girls both aligned with and distanced themselves from the gendered order. (C) 2017 John Wiley amp; Sons Ltd and National Childrens Bureau