The chapter explores affectivities involved in loosing a long-term queer partner. The focus is both on the entanglement and the ways in which the process of dying, becoming-corpse, and becoming-imperceptible, and the parallel process of becoming-widow generate existential difference between the partners.  An ethics of difference is suggested which radically takes into account and respects the existential – bodily and affective – differences that the two situations (the becoming-corpse and the becoming-widow) imply. Methodologically, the chapter is based  on an  autophenomenography (Collinson 2010),  i.e. autoethnography with a phemenological approach where bodies and affective intensities are given central attention.  The autophenomenography  builds on poetic and narrative writing as methods of inquiry (Richardson 2000). The analysed material is autobiographical texts written as part of the author’s own coming to terms with her mourning of her long-term lesbian partner.