Purpose To explore the loss of a relative due to suicide. Design and Methods Ten survivors of relatives who had taken their lives were interviewed. Data was analyzed from a phenomenological perspective. Findings The survivors described how they witnessed the darkness that took over their relatives lifeworld. During the time before and after the suicide, the survivor felt barred from having a role in the relatives care. Practice Implications Understanding and exploring implicit dynamics, such as "a feeling of darkness taking over," "a sense of relief," or "putting on a mask" could be important for developing person-centered suicide care.