A noncommutative algebra corresponding to the classical catenoid is introduced together with a differential calculus of derivations. We prove that there exists a unique metric and torsion-free connection that is compatible with the complex structure, and the curvature is explicitly calculated. A noncommutative analogue of the fact that the catenoid is a minimal surface is studied by constructing a Laplace operator from the connection and showing that the embedding coordinates are harmonic. Furthermore, an integral is defined and the total curvature is computed. Finally, classes of left and right modules are introduced together with constant curvature connections, and bimodule compatibility conditions are discussed in detail.